


Princess Charming

by WotanAnubis



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020), DCU
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship, a cunning plan, unnecessary violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23027815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WotanAnubis/pseuds/WotanAnubis
Summary: In which Harley Quinn bravely comes to the rescue of a Huntress in trouble. Sort of.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 12
Kudos: 109





	Princess Charming

There were a lot of advantages to a crossbow. It was lethal at all kinds of ranges, far more silent than any gun, and nobody ever saw it coming. Trouble was, it wasn't exactly good for non-lethal combat. Yeah, you could hit 'em in the shoulder, the arm, or the leg, but those weren't exactly easy or optimal targets. Easier to just land one in the head or the gut.

Helena had had little time to reflect on this when she got jumped in an alley by three guys. She really shouldn't have taken that shortcut through an isolated little alley in Gotham City after dark. She just hadn't thought about it. She'd never had reason to. Nobody would have dared touch her back in her mob princess youth. Well, nobody who made a living lurking in dark alleys for easy prey, anyway. And on Sicily, everybody knew she was being raised and trained by a couple of hitmen who would get _very upset_ if something happened to her.

But here, now, in Gotham, she was nobody. So here she was, face to face with three dudes, two of 'em carrying knives, one of them holding a chain. Well, _one_ of them holding a knife and one holding a chain. The third had dropped the knife and was now clutching at the crossbow bolt sticking out of his shoulder.

"Ow, _fuck_!" the guy with the bolt in his shoulder wailed. "Who the fuck uses a crossbow in this day and age?"

Helena smiled coldly, the point of her crossbow swaying back and forth between the two still upright. "They call me-"

"Looks like we got a Crossbow Killer copycat on our hands," said the guy with the chain.

"Oh, _come on_ ," said Helena. "You know what? Fuck it. You're going down."

"Funny," the guy who still had a knife said. "I was just about to say the same to bwaaa!"

The guy with the knife fell forward hard and landed face first on the pavement. Helena and the one with the chain looked on in astonishment. Even the dude with the crossbow bolt in his shoulder momentarily stopped yammering about how much pain he was in.

Helena was the first to recover. Even though it was dark, she recognised that the shape that had landed on the guy with the knife's back was a hyena. With a pink collar.

The guy with the chain, his eyes growing wide, looked down at his buddy with a crossbow bolt in his shoulder, his other buddy lying on the ground with a hyena standing on his back, and took a few careful steps back. Then he turned and ran. Straight into a baseball bat to the face. Guy went down like a tree.

"Hiya, Huntress!"

Helena lowered her crossbow. "Harley? The fuck are you doing here?"

"Oh, nothing much," said Harley, lazily swinging her baseball bat. "I was just taking Bruce out for walkies when I saw my bestest gal pal was in trouble."

"Oh," said Helena. "Thanks. I guess. I had it under control."

"I know, I know," said Harley. "But you know me, always willing to lend a helping hand."

"No, you're not," said Helena.

Harley squatted down next to her hyena and the unfortunate mugger. "Who's a good boy?" she muttered. "You are. Yes, you are."

"Lady, could you call off your dog already?" the downed mugger shrieked.

"Brucie's not a dog, he's a hyena," Harley snapped. "The kindest, bravest hyena in all of Gotham, aren't you?"

"Well, call off your hyena then!"

Harley sighed, annoyed. "Hey, you know what, here's a fun hyena fact for you. Did you know they got really powerful jaws? They can bite through bone easily. Brucie here could totally bite _all_ the way through your neck."

" _What!?_ " the guy yelled. "Harl, this wasn-"

"Naptime!" Harley announced brightly, before bringing her baseball bat down on the back of the mugger's head.

Helena looked over the scene. Two guys with baseball bat-induced unconsciousness. One guy with a bleeding shoulder curled up against the wall and pretending he didn't exist. A hyena. And Harley dressed in... well, she had just come to her aid, so Helena was going to be kind and consider Harley's outfit as simply very... colourful.

"Alright, show's over I guess," Helena said, shoving her crossbow back into her duffel bag.

"Oh, right, the show," said Harley. "I'm going to one. It's going to be amazing."

Helena's smile froze on her face. She knew how to handle herself during a mugging, but this was something else. This was a casual small talk situation. She wasn't at all sure she knew how to deal with that.

"Sounds nice," Helena ventured. "Have fun."

"I fully intend to."

Harley moved up next to Helena, hooking their arms together. It was a shocking brazen invasion of her personal space, but Helena couldn't quite bring herself to complain. It was actually kind of... nice.

Harley started strolling out of the alley, more or less dragging Helena along with her.

"And, oh, you know this awesome show I'm about to go to?" Harley said.

"Yeah?"

" _Well_ , wouldn't you know it, but I sort of accidentally got two tickets."

"Accidentally, huh?" said Helena.

"Totally," said Harley. "So I was thinking..."

"And you also happened to accidentally be taking your hyena out for a walk in a dark alley where I was accidentally getting mugged by some guys, one of whom accidentally knew who you were, while you also accidentally happened to be carrying around a baseball bat."

"Yeah, it's been one of those days," said Harley. "Lots of accidents. It happens. So, anyway, wanna go to a show with me?"

Helena and Harley emerged side by side from the dark alley into the dim Gotham streets, Harley's hyena padding faithfully along behind the two of them.

"You know, Harley, next time you could've just bought some flowers or something," Helena said.

Harley's eyes sparkled with mischievous delight. "Oooh, there's going to be a 'next time' already, is there?"

"What? No. I mean. Look." Helena gave up. "Ah, fuck it. Let's go see this show."

Harley sighed beautifully and rested her head on Helena's shoulder.

"You know, I think this just might be the start of something wonderful," she said.

"Yeah," said Helena. "Maybe."


End file.
